I'm confused, can anyone help me?

To anyone who is thinking about killing themselves: please watch this

This is from a girl who’s sister committed suicide. If you are looking for a sign not to commit, this is it.

Please share this so everyone can see.

It’s been a year since one of my friends has passed. Some of you knew him, some of you talked to him, some of you considered him as a friend. Some of you still miss him. I do too. Sometimes I just go on his blog and read everything he has posted to find out why he has decided to end his life so early, why the reality was so tiring for him, why he couldn’t wait just a bit more and kick this motherfucking depression right in the nuts. Sometimes I listen to the songs he loved and pretend that somewhere in the parallel universe where time doesn’t exist he listens to this music too.

Once he has said: “I wonder how many people would become upset if I died”. Now we know an answer. We are still upset, we still wonder if we could help him, see the signs, take his hand when he felt shitty, talk to him more. 

Sometimes I want to believe it all was a lie, that he is alive somewhere, laughing at us under the sun. But most of the time I know that he is dead and nothing can change it, no one can reverse the time and be there for him when he needed it the most. 

He was funny and smart, he liked the same tv series, he was beautiful, he was kind, he was… such a good man, you know. And it’s so weird to say “he was” instead of “he is”. Our fucked up planet would be so much better if he existed.  

We were not very close. but the loneliest part of my heart now belongs to him.

Don’t commit suicide. Don’t do this. Take some time. Wait a little bit. Things may turn out to be better. You may find someone who will share your pain and his happiness with you. You may find a friend, a lover or even a puppy to wipe away your tears in the morning. I know this, I’ve been there, I have felt what you feel. It gets better. Don’t kill yourself. Don’t leave us, your friends, your family, the strangers you once talked to, the people who had a crush on you, the people you had a crush on, to wonder if they could help you at some point, don’t leave us sad and heartbroken. Don’t abandon your future because it can be good and full of happiness I swear. The world may not be the best place for those of you who feel so much, but even your presence can make it better. Don’t make us say the words “rest in peace”, don’t let the others tell us “we’re so sorry for your loss”, because we don’t want to lose you, because we want you to be here even if you don’t see it, we want you to be alive, we want you to dream of better future and to have goals in life and to get up in the morning and go to some stupid job and find a sweetheart at some party and go to the beach and climb the mountains and kiss and do all these things that can make you happy. Don’t make us feel sorrow for the rest of our lives.

Don’t leave us. We need you so much, we love you so much.

(Источник: cliff-whored из блога milklapper)